I was sitting in the car after practice wondering if all the work had been worth it or if I should just quit. I had just found out I made JV instead of varsity. I didn't understand what happened because during tryouts, the coaches had been using me as an example, so I really thought I had a chance to make varsity.
After that, I lost a lot of confidence. I became afraid to make mistakes because I felt like every mistake could set me back. I started questioning whether I would ever improve or accomplish the goals I had for my field hockey career. I wanted to ask the varsity coach why I had been placed on JV, but I was afraid it would come across the wrong way or make her upset. I also kept it to myself instead of talking to my teammates because I didn't want to bring negativity into what was supposed to be a positive team environment.
Breaking Point
I got picked up from practice, and in the car I just started crying. Why am I working so hard and doing extra training and still on JV?
During the games, I would only play 20 minutes, so when I wasn’t playing and I was sitting there, I felt that my skills were slipping.
During the season, I had no free time anymore due to practices and extra private training.
All of this left me wondering why I was still doing this. I felt like I didn't have a home on that team.
Every time I would go to practice, I would hear how varsity got to have sleepovers and pasta parties, and I never got those same opportunities. What helped me during this time was the support system I had. I had two amazing teammates Annabell and Sophia and I had my club coaches to keep supporting me throughout the season. Along with them, I also had my family who helped me throughout the entire season.
Then the fall season ended, and big changes started happening.
A Turning Point
I tried out for my Club team called Summit, the U16 team. I ended up making the 2nd best team. After this, I felt so amazing and that I should keep going. All of my skills started rising tremendously, and I was leaving practice so happy and in a good mood. As a result of making the team, I played in high-level tournaments. After playing at this level I started getting college views.
This is when I realized I was meant for this sport, and sometimes you just have to stick with the things that make you feel like you've failed.
I almost quit, but staying taught me things I never expected. I learned what it feels like to fail and have to pick yourself back up. I made some of my best friends that year and learned how to make the best out of a difficult situation. It also changed me mentally by teaching me that it's okay to fail because, if you keep going, you can end up farther than you ever imagined. Even when I wasn't getting to play, I showed up every day, worked as hard as I could, and was a good teammate. Looking back, I also realized there's always a place for you somewhere. Sometimes you're just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I became afraid to make mistakes because I felt like every mistake could set me back. I started questioning whether I would ever improve or accomplish the goals I had for my field hockey career.
This is when I realized I was meant for this sport, and sometimes you just have to stick with the things that make you feel like you've failed.
it's okay to fail because, if you keep going, you can end up farther than you ever imagined.
